I found a recent move by Kenyan women activists advocating for women to deny their partners sex in protest over the infighting plaguing the national unity government very childish and disturbing. As if that is not enough the activists also requested to make this awkward move a national event. When are women going to learn to resolve conflicts by using their brains? Many times when some women are desperate for financial solutions they rush to volunteer in the buttock industry to solve their problems. Is this similar to what we are going to be seeing in politics too? Please Kenyan activists, keep private parts out of it. Private parts activism should be a private issue and not a national event. Activism should not be allowed to go out of hand, and this idea of sexually starving one’s partner for the sake of President Mwai Kibaki and PM Raila Odinga’s misguided political agreements only leaves the woman on the wrong side of her personal relationship. Why should the politics of your country ruin your sexual relationship with your partner? Leave sex out of politics, or else you are indirectly proving to the men that you are sex objects. Now all you are doing is persuading women to change their sexual behaviours instead of persuading the GNU leaders to start behaving like normal leaders.

I am finding it hard to believe that a group of sound minded women agreed to come up with a solution of sex starvation in order to resolve political issues. Stop this irresponsible activism, go back to your houses and start behaving like real African queens and stop involving politics in issues that should not be political . I thought the First lady Lucy Kibaki, was going to go against this move, but was surprised to see her embracing and endorsing the ineffective and short sighted embargo. Dear First lady, when did private parts start solving political problems? So are you starving the President now? Now stop being a hypocrite and just tell your husband to stop rigging elections and hand over power to Odinga in peace. So are you telling me that if you sexually starve your husband he will do the right thing? I know you are not sexually starving your husband Madam. Only fools will believe you.

Over to you second lady Ida Odinga, stop the childish behaviour. If the truth be told, are you sexually starving the Prime Minister? Am I wrong to say that only your word of mouth joined in the strike, whilst you are busy behind closed doors doing the opposite? Next time don’t promise women activists heaven on earth, or else they will start boasting that they are winning their battle whilst they are losing. Just tell them that their embargo is as difficult as dealing with Somali pirates so you are not interested. Remember if President Kibaki hallucinates and decides to hand over power to PM Odinga you are going to be the First lady. I’m sure Grace Mugabe is not your role model.

That said, I am beginning to get convinced that the world needs real women activists and not opportunists who end up tattooing the word activism on their private parts and use this nonsensical art to justify their incompetent behaviour, thus creating a dysfunctional and immoral society. Abuse of activism will only put your efforts to waste.

You don’t have to end up being empty vessels in your activism. I am beginning to understand why it is vital that activists have access to accurate information about the consequences of their actions and activities. You don’t have to be directionless, loose morons in your quest for political change or else the world will scorn you for engaging irresponsible ways to achieve your goals. You know the results when it comes to donor funds.

You don’t have to look up to private parts to change the political situation in you country. Brains and not private parts are very effective in political change. Such kind of private parts abuse should not be tolerated. You need to understand that whilst in many instances you are the main sufferers of political upheavals you still have your marriages and relationships to respect and maintain. Private parts power is a primitive move that should not be allowed to prosper in a nation as it also finds you the women being abused by some red eyed men. When women activists start behaving as if they are suffering from brain vaginosis things fall apart. Stop advocating for what will take away your respect and the woman in you.

Always bear in mind this question. What is going to change? Now if I may ask you. What has the private part got to do with the dubious GNU that Kibaki and Odinga agreed to? How are you hoping to achieve your objective? It worries me when women abuse private parts at every moment of desperation? Your private parts are precious, and deserve all the respect that’s why they neatly packed where they, so please don’t take them for granted. Never use private parts as political interventions as it only shows how shallow minded you are. Now if you are really serious about this failed GNU starve your stomachs and see if Kibaki changes. Abusing private parts for political change is the last thing I would expect from honourable women activists with working brains. Such types of vaginated brains should not be allowed to flourish if a country is to develop socially and politically. You are not solving anything, but you are just creating unnecessary conflicts between your sheets. This is complete shallow mindedness and irresponsible behaviour which continues to view women as sex objects, one reason why some men sexually abuse women. Where is your brain power? Activism should not be about being foolish. Always calculate the practical consequences of your actions before you get going or else your activism will become as useless as a sealed private part. Now be strong African women. Refuse to be weak minded .Tackle the political problems with your brains not with your private parts.

One more time women activists, private parts power is a useless tool for political change. Sex starvation is passive activism that should be done away with. It won’t change anything politically. The only change which is negative will happen in your relationship. You don’t change the political situation in your country by denying your partner sex. The only thing you can change by denying your partner sex is your personal circumstance .Real change at national level happens through progressive activism and not through misguided passive activism which is influenced by neglect of your thinking ability and abuse of your private parts. Passive activism is as good as doing nothing. You don’t need to stoop so low. So rise up now with your brains on top and do the proper thing. Choosing to unofficially retire your private parts from ‘duty’ when your brains stop working should be a criminal offence? Is that what you want to hear? I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be charged with sexual disobedience or else the small house will come and take over whilst you feed on pig fat in jail. Now you want the GNU sex starved leaders to approve a law that makes contempt of the bedroom a criminal offence .Is that what you are after? Open your brains and re-write your objectives.

Patricia Nyaundi, you are the executive director of the Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA), and part of this destructive embargo. If sex starvation is what you call activism, then I’m strongly opposed to it .Am I seeing here a cartoon packed movie of self-described ‘women activists’ who are struggling to give activism a bad name. What do you hope to achieve from this sex starvation? I ask again. So you think Kibaki and Odinga will stop their political mischief and tell their private parts to lie down because you sexually starved your partner? Now my African queens stop using your private parts to think, private parts have no brain. Something has really gone bad here. Are you trying to strangle your private parts using your brains or vice versa? Is that possible? I don’t think so. So what are you up to Patricia? Don’t you have enough snake charmers in Kenya? What about other circus stars?

Of course yes Patricia as you said, I agree, that “great decisions are made during pillow talk, so we are asking the two ladies at that intimate moment to ask their husbands, darling can you do something for Kenya?” However, those great decisions are successfully made when your private parts are not on strike. That said my African queen, get back to work now, and have that magical pillow talk with your partner in a positive way. Get the daily dose and discuss how best you can get Kibaki and Odinga to get going for the sake of progress .Of course remember to keep your private parts out of national politics.

The ticket-free circus doesn’t end with you Patricia. The Women’s Development Organization coalition including Caucus for Women’s Leadership and Maendeleo ya Wanawake and all those concerned even agreed to be paymasters for prostitutes. Do you understand the implications? Do you even realize that these prostitutes are your mothers, daughters and sisters? So what are you teaching them? So by paying the so called prostitutes are you acknowledging that prostitution is a trade that should be endorsed? In African culture women activists should be the last people to be seen encouraging prostitution. Something is not right here. Today you pay a prostitute and acknowledge that their services should be respected and paid for, and tomorrow you bitterly complain and cry saying your pubic hair is failing to grow because your husband infected your private parts with a disease that he got from the same prostitute you are paying some shillings today. Now wake up African queens and don’t tell me that the answer to 2-3 is IT CAN’T. Why not donate that money to an orphanage and improve the lives of your innocent angels before Madonna comes in to snatch your little angels from you? So you don’t want to learn from James Kambewa, Mercy’s father?

There are also many books gathering dust out there, with workable ideas on how to confront challenges. Many of them are not as big as Haralambos, so why not browse through the books once in a while? Yes there is need for activists to possess the skills to integrate many issues, and understand how to resolve the challenges facing their countries and the world, and how to address the issues in acceptable ways, if they don’t have the natural know how. Well-trained activists are valuable yes. I understand that activism takes a variety of forms including boycott but there are limits to how far the boycotting can go. Remember your aim is to change the politics of Kenya and not the politics of your bedrooms.

Please spare your private part from further ridicule for it has nothing to do with this political impasse in Kenya. Dorothy Parker knows that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon. You don’t have to tarnish or destroy your relationship for political change. There is great need to stop and think before acting. Set your goals right and see if they can be achieved, and please do not include private parts in your options. Look for the most effective strategies or tactics to effect political change with open minds not open legs.

Stop abusing private parts .You don’t want to end up poisoning society like other misguided feminists who know the meaning of male and female but don’t understand the difference between husband and wife, thereby distorting the meaning of equal rights. As activists you should not work to destroy societies but you should work to improve the lives of the people, communities and societies that make up our world. You are agents of good change and not destroyers of societal values that bind us. By advocating for sex starvation you are not helping your community in any good way. Now stop destroying relationships in the name of activism but address political issues destroying your country in a respectful and brainy fashion. You wouldn’t want to be a danger to the same society that you are fighting for.

vRise up women activists. Don’t be a disgrace. Take a bath and a break, retire from the buttock industry and start using your brains to initiate political change. Use your private parts for their purpose and child bearing and not for political change. You only have yourselves to blame if you fail to smell the breast milk and realize that the private part doesn’t have the ability to solve political issues but your brains have. Inferior brains look up to private parts to solve their problems. Mind you activism should remain a mechanism that you use to initiate orderly and responsible ways of dealing with conflict .Now if you start being disorderly yourselves who is going to take you seriously? Don’t be the ‘demonic’ activists who pounce on available opportunities and end up using inappropriate pressures that are irrelevant to their cause. I’m sure you are not related by origin to the pressure cookers in your kitchens.

Now all you other non activist women do not allow your minds to be taken over by some of the good self –described activists who have very good intentions but fail to implement the best methods for good change to happen or else they will end up polluting your brains with good for nothing ideas. They might lay on your heads thorny crowns if you are not careful. The campaign should start from their brains and not from their bedrooms. I hope this Kenyan pubic hair virus and private parts intervention to solve political problems will not spread to Zimbabwe in the same way the undemocratic GNU spread.